Monday, December 25, 2006

What day is it, boy?

Every Christmas morning, I get the urge to throw open the window and shout down to the first person I see, "What day is it, boy?". Of course, this would not actually work in my neighborhood, but this year I'm traveling, and it might have worked, if there had been anyone in the street. Sigh. Well, a person can dream. A person can dream.

My Christmas present to you is a picture of a chihuahua with a gun. Yes, a chihuahua with a gun. Because nothing says Peace on Earth, and Good Will Towards all Men, better than a chihuahua with a gun.

And yes, Tiny Tim did not die, and Scrooge became like a second father to him, and the very next Christmas he sent away to Mexico and was able to give Tiny Tim the thing he desired most in the world, a chihuahua with a gun.

Merry Christmas.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Merry Christmas, ya old savings and loan!

If you don't get that reference, I can't help you.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Friday, December 08, 2006

I nailed it!

A while back, I blogged that I thought the idea of a new space race to the moon was a stupid idea. Even with today's technology, I think all of the nations who wish to go back to the moon should band together and go as a team. Well, guess what?


The Russians want to join in on our plan for exploration of, and an eventual base on the moon.

Maybe they read my blog. Naaaaaaaah.

Monday, November 20, 2006


Let's do a thought experiment. If you had a magic wand which you could wave and make something dissapear, how would you use it?

Think carefully, because you're not the only one who has use of this wand.

Sure, you might wave it and say,

"BEGONE, Poverty!", or
"BEGONE, Disease!", or
"BEGONE, Pollution!"

But stop and think for a minute how someone else, someone completely unlike yourself would make use of the wand.

They might wave it and say,

"BEGONE, Terrorists!", Which does work, in it's own way, but they also might say,

"BEGONE, Arabs!", or
"BEGONE, Jews!", or
"BEGONE, All Non Fundamentalist Christians!", or even,
"BEGONE, Bees!" (some people really hate bees), or
"BEGONE, Snakes!" (ditto the bees).

Basically, some group you belong to, or something you care deeply for, is the object of the deepest fear and hatred for someone else. And some people would shout "BEGONE" without ever thinking about the consequences.

In essence, I am saying that, just like in a Twilight Zone episode, you really have to think long and hard about what you might wish for, because nothing in this world comes withouth strings attached. Everything is connected. Everybody is somebody's son or daughter, and humans will go to the greatest lengths to justify their actions.

Now, "BEGONE from my blog, dear readers!"

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

The REAL hero of the Battle of the Death Star

Who destroyed the Death Star? Luke Skywalker? "Just like Beggar's Canyon, back home." NAH! (By the way, "Bullseying Wamp-Rats" sounds spectacularly cruel. Nice hero.)

Maybe it was the other guy, whose name I can't remember, who took the first shot at the "Thermal Exhaust Port", whose shot "Just impacted on the surface." Nope, not him, either.

No, the true hero of the Battle of the Death Star, the real presence that Darth Vader detected, was his actual first "Son", Threepio.

Threepio, you say? Yep, Threepio. The golden colored, mysteriously British droid, the one that Darling Little Anikin Skywalker created from stolen parts back in his days as a slave. Technically, Ani was Threepio's creator, and therefore his father, which also technically makes both Luke and Leia Threepio's half sibling, by my way of thinking. (They both treated him pretty shabbily, too, which points to his being their sibling, except that he is actuallly their OLDER brother, and he should have been doing the picking on.)

So how did the fay droid accomplish such a heroic act? Quite by accident, sorry to say. He never even realized he did it. When Luke, Leia, Han Solo and Chewbacca are trapped in the garbage masher (3263827!), and they are being squished by the moving walls, Luke yells for him to shut down all the garbage mashers on the detention level. Threepio then tells Artoo "NO! Shut them ALL down!" So what happened next? Once the others escape the garbage masher, he forgot to start ALL the garbage mashers up again. This caused a dangerous build up of methane gas. I think the reason for the garbage to be mashed in the first place was to squash it down to slow the production of methane. Once he shut them all down, the methane kept building up and building up, only waiting for the perfect spark to ignite it all. The crew, contractors and staff of the Death Star were so busy getting ready for the battle, nobody noticed that the mashers were disabled. Nobody thought that some random droid, let alone one hand built by Lord Vader, way back when he was just an annoying kid, would have shut down the garbage mashers, and forgotten to turn them back on. Then, in the middle of the great battle, the planet destroying beam is set to go, and it provided the spark neeeded to set off all that methane, thereby destroying the Death Star, and killing all those Imperials. Thanks a lot, Threepio. So if Anikin had not built Threepio in the first place, the Empire would have WON. Nice job, Ani.

P.S. When Luke wanted to be a Jedi, Yoda said he was too old to begin the training. When Liam Neeson wanted to make Ani a Jedi, the council said he was too old. Then when we meet the "younglings" who Anikin would later slaughter, they are tiny little kids, and this is probably the advanced class. So the Jedi, the "good guys" basically swoop in to birthing rooms, measure the newborns for the terribly named "midichlorians", and if they score high enough, say "Sorry, lady, I'm taking your baby, but don't worry, he'll be a JEDI!" My biggest problem with the saga is that no matter how bad you are, if you reform at the last possible minute, you are redeemed. Anikin slaughtered children, destroyed whole planets, basically became the poster child for genocide, but at the last minute he kills the emperor, and because of this he gets promoted to "glowing Jedi ghost". All is forgiven. If Goebels had assasinated Hitler, would this have made him a good guy? NO. Yes, yes, I take this all too seriously.
That is all.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Revelation - The word OUR is not the word THE.

I listen to a lot of National Public Radio. This should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me or reads this blog. I'm a card carrying, unapologetic liberal. Those who decry NPR have usually not listened to it, and assume that only left wing views are represented there. Au Contraire! Listen even to a short while to any call in show, and you will see that all viewpoints are allowed, and encouraged. I, myself have braved listening to right wing radio, even (shudder) Rush Limbaugh and G. Gordon Liddy. No lefties need apply, or try to call in. Ever. Ever. One of the conservative callers to a show on NPR was defending the President with the rote repeating of the line "We have to support our President, he's OUR (emphasis mine) Commander in Chief." To some this may be a nitpicking, semantic argument, but he is not OUR Commander in Chief, he is THE Commander in Chief of OUR armed forces. Saying he is OUR Commander in Chief sounds a lot like what we would have to say if we were living in a military dictatorship, all of us transcripted into the great national army. I'm sure that this subtle distinction is not one that the right wing extremists would mind people not being able to make. As W once said "I don't have a problem with Dictatorships, as long as I'm the Dictator." Or something like that.

This picture is of St. Michael the Archangel, who is the patron saint of Radiologists. I just like it.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Milestone or Millstone?

Something has happened that has never happened before. The 400 richest Americans, according to Forbes Magazine, are each worth at least one Billion dollars.

$1,000,000,000 and up.

Ordinary multi-millionaires need not apply.

That's at least ONE BILLION Dollars, each, up the line to Bill Gates, worth 56 Billion Dollars. At least he is putting his wealth to good use.

Now I know that I berate the rich regularly, and yes, I realize that a lot of what I feel is jealousy, but I also know that a lot of people at the top, even ordinary multi-millionaires poor mouth their employees when it comes time for raises or even paying a decent minimum wage. I'm sure that the top executives at most major companies are not losing their pensions or taking drastic wage cuts, they are just passing those down to the "little people". I think they should remember something I once heard: "If you don't feed the animals at the Zoo, eventually they will break out of their cages and eat the keepers.". I'm just saying.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Been away, now I'm back.

I just made the graphic to the left.

I can't believe that I never thought of this before. It's so obvious, now that I look at it.

It's especially appropriate, considering that whatever scandal happens to the Republicans these days, they claim it is all the Democrats fault. (You know the scandal I'm talking about. I know you do.)

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Don't fall for the "September Surprise".

Didya notice that the price of gasoline is down? Way down? It doesn't take a paranoid person, to think that there might be something going on here, or a genius to figure out just what that might be.

High Gas Prices = Angry People
Angry People = Incumbents Not Re-Elected
Incumbents = Mostly Republicans
Republican Agenda = Cut Taxes (more) for The Ultra Rich
The Ultra Rich = Oil Company Executives
Oil Company Executives = Able to Lower gasoline prices
Lower Gasoline Prices = Happy People
Happy People = Incumbents Re-Elected

Please please please don't fall for it. As soon as the mid-term elections are over, gas prices will be right back up near three dollars a gallon, and the excuse will probably have something to do with home heating oil. Just watch.

And if you don't vote, shut the hell up.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

We're going back. Why not together?

So we (The United States) have decided to go back to the moon. I'm all in favor of that, but the why bothers me. I have a feeling that the only reason we are really going is because of the New Space Race. The Chinese, Japanese, Indians, and heck, for all I know, the Venezuelans and the New Zealanders are planning missions to the moon. We tried a space race last time, and it was not without casualties (most on the Russian side, but we did loose a few). Why can't we put aside our differences and go together this time? I would think it would save money, and probably lives. I know it is a "national pride" thing, but we got together on the International Space Station, and that almost works. Especially given the proclivities of the current administration, I doubt that we will make international cooperation in space a high priority any time soon.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Conservatives, 5 Years into the Permanent War.

Five years into the state of permanent war, I have been listening to both the Conservative and the "Liberal" media. I know that I am biased, but I can't help but think that We have a tighter grip on reality than They do. As I listen to the Administration continue to preach Fear Fear Fear Fear Fear, I've been trying to understand how they can maintain their worldview, and do they really believe what they are saying? Yes, because they drink the Kool-Aid, they eat the Kool-Aid, they breathe the Kool-Aid, they sweat the Kool-Aid, they think the Kool-Aid, they dream the Kool-Aid, they live the Kool-Aid, they love the Kool-Aid, they think that the Kool-Aid is America’s greatest gift to the world, and they will never stop until everyone in the world thinks exactly the way they do, even if the world must be destroyed in the process. Indeed, a world that doesn’t agree completely with their view of what it should be does not deserve to exist. To save the world “from itself” they will send it to hell, “for its own good”. I can't help but remember what the solution was, right after the declaration of war. The drum beat went out, "Spend, Spend, Spend." Indulge your every whim. That SUV will fill the void in your soul. Sure it will. It saddens me to see that Five years in, we really are no different. There are just 2600 less of us. A friend asked why today hasn't been declared a national holiday. I replied that it would just be another excuse for big sales at the stores and another chance to barbecue. Where we go from here is beyond me. All I can say is that we must refuse to drink the Kool-Aid. The sign says 5 cents a glass, but really you have to turn over your soul. And once they have your soul, they never give it back.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

A geography lesson

I was zooming around the planet today at lunch, using the best program ever, Google Earth, just cruising around, looking for things that stood out, when I noticed a very very large shape in western China. (Right in the center of the image to the left) Now, I consider myself fairly geographically knowledgeable, (self proclaimed map geek) and I know that western China is notoriously desolate, but I had never seen or noticed anything this big on any globe or map. Upon further research, I found out that it is the Taklamakan, the largest "all sand" desert in the world. As features visible from space, (on cloud free earth days) it's pretty cool. Not Jupiter's Great Red Spot cool, but still interesting. It covers 270,000 square kilometers. One branch of the silk road went north of it, another went south. I'm sure there was a very good reason to have gone around, rather than across it. China has used it for testing their atomic weapons, another reason to go around. Check it out on Google Earth if you get the chance. Zoom as far in as you can to get a sense of how desolate it is, a whole lot of sand, with dunes that strech thousands of kilometers. I still want to go there. But that's just me.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Chalk up one victory for the hedgehogs.

Okay, this is not a hedgehog, I know. It is a badger, or at least a cartoon badger. I just couldn't find a picture of a hedgehog that I liked.


After 5 years of campaigning, the British Hedgehog Preservation Society has convinced McDonald's corporation to redesign the plastic cups for their McFlurry deserts. Apparently the sweet, sticky residue in the cups is irresistible to the critters, who get their heads stuck in the cups and sometimes die. But I think the BPCS is missing the real point. Shouldn't they be doing something about British litterbugs? The redesign wouldn't really be all that necessary if the cups weren't tossed out of the windows of cars by heartless Britishers. But I suppose McDonald's makes a "sexier" target. And at least now the hedgehogs will be alive, if frustrated by their inability to access sweet treats on the roadsides of Great Britain.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Poetry is like wine.

Why? Because I don't think I would know good poetry or wine, but I sure as heck can spot bad poetry or wine.

I'm reading Ann Rice's "Memnoch the Devil", on my wife's recommendation. Despite the fact that I have never read any of her other vampire novels, it's okay, because the first chapter is basically an extended, "Previously, on The Adventures of The Vampire Lestat...". So far, the book is pretty good, but, for those of you who don't know, Ms. Rice usually peppers her books with poetry by her now late husband. Here's an example, from the beginning of the book.

Duet on Iberville Street

The man in black leather
Buying a rat to feed his python
Does not dwell on particulars.
Any rat will do.
While walking back from the pet store
I see a man in a hotel garage
Carving a swan in a block of ice
With a chain saw.

Stan Rice, 30 Jan 94

Deep, huh. Here's another, just for giggles. He's so defiant.

What God did not plan on

Sleep well,
Weep well,
Go to the deep well
As often as possible.
Bring back the water,
Jostling and gleaming.
God did not plan on consciousness
Developing so
Well. Well,
Tell Him our
Pail is full
And He can
Go to Hell.

Stan Rice, 24 June 93

Keep in mind that I'm sure Stan and Ann used what they considered his "best" poems. I'd hate to see what they considered his mediocre, or even bad poems. Some of my friends and I used to sit around (drinking beer) and reading poetry aloud from a probably self published book of poetry called "Heat Lightning", by I don't remember who. Bad bad stuff, but not as bad as Stan's stuff, I think. The HL author used the line "Cement Colored Eyes" way too often, and each poem was a bitter rant against a woman. We added punch to each poem by adding the ending line, "You Bitch!", which only made us laugh all the harder. I think that just like some people who make their own wine convince themselves that it is good, despite the fact that it tastes like paint, some people have been taught that pretense + poetry = good. I know that I couldn't write a poem to save my life, but at least I know that. Happy Labor Day

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Somebody really smart said this. Not me, somebody really smart.

The terrorists hate our freedom, so by eliminating the freedom, we can stop the terrorists from hating us.

Monday, August 21, 2006

The greatest poem ever written.

Everybody was kung-fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightning
But they fought with expert timing
They were funky China men from funky Chinatown
They were chopping them up and they were chopping them down
It's an ancient Chineese art and everybody knew their part
From a feint into a slip, and kicking from the hip
Everybody was kung-fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightning
But they fought with expert timing
There was funky Billy Chin and little Sammy Chung
He said here comes the big boss, lets get it on
We took a bow and made a stand, started swinging with the hand
The sudden motion made me skip now we're into a brand knew trip
Everybody was kung-fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightning
But they did it with expert timing
Make sure you have expert timing
Kung-fu fighting, had to be fast as lightning

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Slaves to technology

I've been seeing commercials for new movies being released for sale, with the ending "Now available on DVD and Blu-Ray". Almost without reservation, the movies advertised are generally recognized as pure 100%, high-test, CRAP. But, just think, now you can watch these horrible movies in ultra high definition! You can experience every second of these terrible testaments to hollywood's endless navel gazing in a format so clear that it will probably be burned into your retinas and might even alter your DNA permanently. Don't get me wrong, I like technology, but I think people today are truly addicted to it. Every new gadget that comes along, they must have as soon as it is released, and then they dump it just as soon as the next thing comes along. One other movie I saw advertised was "Final Destination 3", I think, which uses the new technology to let you "decide the outcome" of the film by giving you control over who lives and who dies at special points in the film. I wonder if you can choose "live" for every choice you are given, turning another "Dead Teenager" film into an After School Special about how not to get killed. I would hope so, but I doubt it. I would like to see the movie "Alien" remade with this technology, and whenever the Alien attacked, I would have it walk into a door jamb or slip on a bananna peel, allowing the crew to escape. But where's the fun in that?

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

This just confuses things.

As long as we get to have a planet named Xena, I don't care how many there are or what they call them.

From New Scientist Magazine:

On 24 August, the International Astronomical Union will vote on a proposed new definition of the term "planet"

Here are the new categories they are proposing:

Planet: A round thing orbiting a star. More precisely, according to the draft definition: “A planet is a celestial body that (a) has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly round) shape, and (b) is in orbit around a star, and is neither a star nor a satellite of a planet.”

Pluton: A planet orbiting beyond Neptune, taking more than 200 Earth years to circle the Sun. So far, it would include Pluto; Pluto's former moon, Charon; and
"Xena" (2003 UB313).

Satellite: Anything orbiting a planet, as long as the mutual centre of gravity does not fall outside the planet. Includes several bodies much larger than many planets, such as Jupiter's moon Ganymede (diameter: 5262 kilometres).

Small solar system body: Anything orbiting the Sun that's not a planet or a satellite. Most asteroids and comets would be SSSBs. Currently called minor planets.

Unofficial categories of planet:
Dwarf planet: A planet smaller than Mercury (diameter: 4879 kilometres), which is the smallest uncontested planet. Would include the former asteroid Ceres; Pluto; Charon; and Xena.

Giant planet: Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune.

Classical planet: The four giant planets plus the familiar four rocky, terrestrial planets: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

NASA caught red handed! Proof that the moon landings were faked!

Well, here it is. I found it, not even hidden well, on NASA's own website. Proof positive that the moon landings were faked. Obviously, this is an undoctored, unfiltered photo before it was run through the process that makes it look like they are actually on the moon.

Oh, I can't go on with this. It is no such thing. It's just a photo of one of the Apollo 17 astronauts testing a soil collection rig, to see if it might be useful once they got to the moon.

But it's just the kind of thing I would expect from the morons who think we never went to the moon. We did. Case Closed. It would have actually been far more expensive and technologically challenging to fake a moon landing than to just go there, which is what we did. But the conspiracy nuts will go on thinking whatever nonsense they want to. Because not thinking is easier than thinking, any day. Sigh.

Monday, August 14, 2006

If you can't say something nice, say something surreal.

When I sit back and look at the world today,
Sometimes I feel that I just have to say,

There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going.
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing.
Is it raining?
Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a blowing?
Not a speck of light is showing
so the danger must be growing.
Are the fires of hell a glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
The danger must be growing
For the rowers keep on rowing.
And they're certainly not showing
any signs that they are slowing!

Friday, August 11, 2006

You might have missed this.

Yesterday was proclaimed "Baby, the Corpse Flower" Bloom Day in Brooklyn, USA

I've seen, and smelled the Amorphophallus Titanum in Atlanta. It certainly is impressively huge, and smelly, but I've got to think that the President of Brooklyn has a lot of spare time on his hands. Still, it's a very nice looking document.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Billions of years of evolution has brought us to this.

I actually kind of enjoy this clock, and its accompanying brain melting tune. But I also know that it would be extremely useful in extracting information from prisoners. 3 or 4 hours of listening to this should make you willing to sell your children to the dog food factory.

You. Have. Been. Warned.


Thursday, August 03, 2006

When God gives you Global Warming, make Global Warming Ade!

Those crafty Greenlanders, (who have the best flag, pictured at left) have started making Greenland Brand Beer, brewed with water from their melting ice cap. For the Danish market only, so far, but I imagine that as the ice cap begins to melt faster and faster, they will have to start increasing their market.

Mmmmm..... You can really taste the polar bear.
(Yes, there are polar bears in Greenland, I just checked. I'm gonna miss those guys.)

Full article here:

Monday, July 31, 2006

Don't blame me, I voted for the guy who actually won.

Almost nothing in this world is more frightening, or more dangerous, than an idiot with nearly limitless power, surrounded by a large group of people constantly telling him that he is a genius, and one of the greatest people in history. This situation has not only happened many times, but it seems to be one of the true universal constants.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

The rich get richer, the richer get even richer.

So now it's not good enough that the majority of the tax cuts go to the ultra-hyper-mega rich, now the IRS has announced that it will be cutting the number of Estate Tax Investigators, the ones who look for the few people who are rich enough to pay estate taxes. (The republicans would have you believe that The Estate Tax, which they call The Death Tax, is aimed at the small American farmer, despite the fact that there is no documented case of a family having to "sell the family farm" to pay the estate taxes). These workers recover an average of two thousand dollars for every hour they work. We shold be hiring more of these investigators, not laying them off.

The Republicans failed in their quest to eliminate the tax, so they are eliminating half of the people who would enforce the tax. Tricky bastards. Too much wealth is never enough for them.

Smithers -"What should I do with the million dollars, Mr. Burns?"

Mr. Burns - "Oh, I don't know, just throw it on the pile, I suppose."

Check this out:

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Part 38, in which our hero invents a new German word.

Schadenfreude: scha·den·freu·de n.
Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.
[German : Schaden, damage (from Middle High German schade, from Old High German scado) + Freude, joy (from Middle High German vreude, from Old High German frewida, from frō, happy)

I thought there should be a word for the shame that one should rightly feel at feeling schadenfreude, so I asked my German speaking friend Colormagickid (who sometimes comments on my blog entries) to help me invent a German word that would cover that. We came up with Schadenfreudescham.

I love a language where you just keep pushing words together to convey whatever concept you need to. I think this one works just fine.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Superman's Greatest Enemy EVER!

Cower before the awesome power of "Catch a Falling Star and Put it in your Pocket"! He's broken the needle on the Swoon-O-Meter! The fiend. Imagine if he teamed up with Super Frank Sinatra. The horror, the horror.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Jesus is returning, and he's got donuts!

I was hoping to post at least a few non political things, but when I saw this in Harper's Magazine, I just had to lift the whole thing. Those who know me know that I have absolutely no tolerance for those who are eager for the end of the world, if for no other reason than they want to see their sick version of God smote anyone or anything that they disagree with, that makes them feel icky. Their attidude seems to be: "Homosexuals, Jews, heck, any non-Christians. Burn 'em all up. They're getting just what they deserve for not agreeing with the way I see the world." Well, the situation in the middle east has these sickos wetting their pants with joy over the upcoming rapture of the faithful, which is just around the corner, as it has been predicted every single year, for the last two thousand years. Check this out:

Silver Linings and a Cross of Gold
Posted on Tuesday, July 18, 2006.

It turns out there's an upside to the current conflict between Israel and Hezbollah—if you're waiting for the second coming of Christ. Here's a selection of excited messages spotted over the last few days on the Rapture Ready/End Times Chat online bulletin board.
By Ken Silverstein.

Praise God! We are chosen to be in these times and also watch and spread the word. Something inside me is exploding to get out, and I don't know what it is. Its kind of like I want to do cartwheels around the neighborhood.
* * *
In another thread, someone brought up the fact that the kidnapping of the first Israeli soldier that started this whole thing was on June 25th and if you count from that day to August is *EXACTLY 40 days!!!!!*
I find that to be a HUGE coincidence.
* * *
A question just popped in my head. Do you think children of around say 7 or 8 (but before the age of accountability) that have been indoctrinated up until that time by their parents religious beliefs will be raptured? . . . For example, would a 7 year old muslim be raptured? I know G-d will do right but I was just wondering everyone's thoughts. I hate to think of kids being left here.
* * *
Got that dancing feeling on the inside of me.
* * *
This is the busiest I've ever seen this website in a few years! I have been having rapture dreams and I can't believe that this is really it! We are on the edge of eternity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* * *
Whoa! I can sure feel the glory bumps after reading this thread!
* * *
I too am soooo excited!! I get goose bumps, literally, when I watch what's going on in the M.E.!! And Watcherboy, you were so right when saying it was quite a day yesterday, in the world news, and I add in local news here in the Boston area!! Tunnel ceiling collapsed on a car and killed a woman of faith, and we had the most terrifying storms I have ever seen here!! But, yes, oh happy day, like in your screen name , it is most indeed a time to be happy and excited, right there with ya!!
* * *

I am excited beyond words that the struggle of this life may be over soon and I can finally be FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
* * *
This is so exciting....I'm having a hard time believing this is 'real'!

This is Silver Linings and a Cross of Gold by
Ken Silverstein,
published Tuesday, July 18, 2006.
It is part of Washington Babylon, which is part of

Words fail me. More so than usual.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

A word not chosen lightly. Deranged.

You don't have to listen to the Conservative Nut-Job media machine for too long before you hear any one of them say something utterly false, completely illogical, just plain mean, or decidedly creepy. Hannity, O'reilly, Coulter (shudder), any of them. But there is one who doesn't get that much attention, who has passed them all, as far as I am concerned, and gone on to being classified as completely mentally deranged. Michael Savage. Seriously, anyone who could make the following statement needs to be given lots and lots of antipsychotic drugs. Right. Now.

SAVAGE: "Now, I realize that the American left is cheering today. They’ll probably break open the jug wine and cheer that Jews are dying, One day, the "Deutschland über alles" may be played in Jerusalem, and the American left can tear off their masks once and for all and show themselves to be what they really are — which is the Nazis of our time."

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Death with dignity? There's no such thing.

The really sad part of this is that there are about twenty clowns inside that coffin.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Meow. Ow.

This is a Manekoneki, or Lucky Cat, from Japan. This one, evidently, is not quite so lucky, though. Awwwww.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Everest Update. Far, far worse than previously reported.

In a previous post,
I bitched about how climbing Mount Everest has become a dangerous, stupid "must-do" for rich, eccentric idiots. I reported that fifteen hundred people had completed the climb, and just under two hundred have died trying. Well, we've passed the two hundred mark, with a grand, horrible total of two hundred and three dead, and I have found out that the total number of morons who have completed the climb has passed two thousand seven hundred. Apparently, the average modern attempt costs around sixty thousand dollars, and the climbers are so focused on completing their investment, I mean attempt, that they have lost a great deal of their humanity. And not just a few of them. In March, one climber lay dying, after completing his summit, on his way back down, 984 feet from the top. Fourty climbers passed him by, too eager to complete their climb to bother to share their oxygen with him. Yep, they let him die. I'm sure they have their justifications and excuses, but I don't care. I just don't care. There is nothing unique, or impressive about doing it any more. If you do, you're an idiot and an a**hole. In the words of Sir Edmund Hillary: "On my expedition, there was no way you'd have left a man under a rock to die." Evidently, when you climb Everest, you leave $60,000 and your humanity behind.

More details, as referenced in the first post:
The total of summiters and deaths is low in this article.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

My thoughts exactly.

Slate magazine columnist Amy Sullivan has put into words what I couldn't figure a way to say, and she has done it perfectly.

"For the past six years, the most prominent Christian in America has been the president. His belief is not of the "God said it. I believe it. That settles it," sort that fundamentalists embrace. Rather, Bush subscribes to a syllogistic doctrine of presidential infallibility: God works through Christians; I am a Christian; I have decided to do X; therefore, X is God's will."

As I said, I couldn't have put it better myself. Thanks, Amy.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Mmmm Mmmmmmm Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

History Lesson

The very word "secrecy" is repugnant in a free and open society; and we are as a people inherently and historically opposed to secret societies, to secret oaths and to secret proceedings. We decided long ago that the dangers of excessive and unwarranted concealment of pertinent facts far outweighed the dangers which are cited to justify it. Even today, there is little value in opposing the threat of a closed society by imitating its arbitrary restrictions. Even today, there is little value in insuring the survival of our nation if our traditions do not survive with it. And there is very grave danger that an announced need for increased security will be seized upon by those anxious to expand its meaning to the very limits of official censorship and concealment. That I do not intend to permit to the extent that it is in my control.

"The President and the Press" (April 27, 1961)

Friday, June 30, 2006

Exclusive not so secret memo.

I have obtained, through my network of inside sources, the text of a memo. Here is what it says:


To: Republican Senators and Congressmen

Fr: Karl Rove, Reichministier for Propaganda

Re: Instructions

Cc: Fox News

Date: Permanent

Say, "Democrats want to Cut and Run".
Repeat, "Democrats want to Cut and Run".
Repeat Ad Nauseum.

That is all.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

No no no no no no no!

I saw a commercial for a credit card company that uses the song "All You Need Is Love". Blasphemy. At least it was a bad cover version and not the Beatles original. Still, it is bad enough to be yet another sign of the End Times. The ad exec that pitched this idea should, by all that is good and holy, have burst into flames. Not just for using one of the greatest songs ever written in advertising, but using it to advertise and put a warm, fuzzy image on a credit card company. You know them, the ones who make sure you get dozens of cards before you even graduate college (some even issue cards to high school students!) and promise a low low (promotional) rate, and even when that rate is over, you get a fairly reasonable rate, until your payment is one day late, at which point your rate permanently locks in at 24.99%. Why 24.99%? Because 25% or greater interest rate is illegal in most places, so technically they are justified, as long as they stay below that. "All you need is love" my ass. All you need is obscenely high profit.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

My secret is out!

Some of you may have suspected all along, but I'm going to come right out and admit it. I am a Liberal. There, I said it and I won't take it back. You see, I have at least a passing grasp of logic, or at least a better grasp than those who think that if you repeat a lie enough times, it becomes the truth, and I really like doing the thing that the current administration hates more than anything. I like THINKING! For myself, even. And I won't ever give that up. Just like Chuck Heston says you can have his gun when you pry it from his cold, dead hands, (with any luck, I say), the government can have my thoughts when they pry them from my cold, dead, brain. (with any luck, they say)

Thanks to Tom Tomorrow for the illustration.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Nobody likes a smartass. Wait. Everybody likes a smartass!

According to Barry Levine in Newsfactor Magazine:

"If, hypothetically, all U.S. cars ran on 100 percent corn-based ethanol, and if one Ivy League professor's analysis is correct, then 97 percent of the entire country's land area -- including real estate now occupied by cities -- would be needed to grow corn."

I say, GO FOR IT!

Truly Grim

The Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm are like the Bible, in that everybody knows at least some version of the stories, but nobody actually reads the stories, or knows what they actually say. I'm reading the most recent translation of the stories, from 1987, and they sure are not the way they have been sanitized by modern interpreters.
For instance, in the Frog Prince (actually, the Frog King), how does the Princess transform the frog? Does she kiss him? No. Does she give him some special food or medicine? No. She picks him up off of her pillow, where she very reluctantly has allowed him to sleep, as a reward for helping her retrieve a golden ball that had fallen in a well, and she throws him against the wall. Yep, she winds up and hurls him against a wall, which for some reason breaks the spell.
Or how about some of the grisly demises that befall the evil stepmothers and their evil children? In Snow White, the evil Queen is put into red hot iron shoes at the wedding feast and forced to dance herself to death. In another tale, the evil stepmother and daughter are put into a barrel full of boiling oil AND poisonous snakes. Seems a bit of overkill to me, plus, it's mean to the snakes.
The translation is pretty good, and readable, but it is a translation of the final version of the tales, from 1857, rather than the earlier, bawdier version from 1812, which was full of sexual inuendo. For instance, in Rapunzel, the witch is tipped off that Rapunzel has been having a visitor, when she comments that pulling the witch up on the rope of her hair is much harder than pulling up the prince, who weighs less. Not a slip up one would expect her to make. In the original story, the prince has been visiting and staying with Rapunzel for a while, and the witch is none the wiser until Rapunzel asks her: "Mother Goethel, why do you think my clothes have become too tight for me and no longer fit?" Oops. Evidently Rapunzel hadn't been exposed to the abstinence only program.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Context is everything

Isn't this a pretty Japanese character?
According to the website selling this charm,
The charachter means "Geisha"

Guess what? Oh, you know me too well.

In context, it can mean geisha, but by itself,
it just means PROSTITUTE.

Hey, at least it's not a tattoo.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Please. Stop. Climbing. Mount. Everest. Now.

How many people do you think have climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest? Several hundred? Guess again.

Over fifteen hundred people have climbed to the top.
Just under two hundred people have died in the attempt.

What the hell is wrong with people? When Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay were the first to do it, and were asked why, he answered "because it was there." Trite, but telling. Now, if asked why, the honest answer should be "Because I'm Rich!". Yeah, I ride the rich a lot, but I think they deserve it. They throw money away with both hands, and their lives have become so hollow that they need big thrills, like climbing Everest to make them feel alive. Sadly, they then end up dead.

Good article regarding this:

Some stories are too easy. All too easy.

CEO's rate of pay, as compared to their workers:

Japan 11 times
Germany 12 times
France 15 times
Italy 20 times
Canada 20 times
South Africa 21 times
Britain 22 times
Hong Kong 41 times
Mexico 47 times
Venezuela 50 times

And the United states of America : 475 times!
And they still think they don't make enough.
Please see my earlier post about Exxon.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Go Hanshin Tigers!

Japanese baseball fans are notoriously fanatic. Team loyalties are very fierce, and one clothing company has invented a reversible business jacket which you can quickly convert from conservative salaryman attire to rabid Hanshin Tiger booster jacket, which looks very much like the team uniform. The buttons, of course are decorated with the Tiger's logo. Here's the machine translated text from the Japanese site which sells the jacket:

As for the true Hanshin Tigers fan, with the Hanshin Tigers you walk always even in the scene of business and the dressy dressing up. The hanshin tigers mark and the Osaka and Kobe tiger scalar were allotted to everywhere, it is one arrival of prejudice. “With the Hanshin Tigers it is always and it recommends our heart” because of the one where we would like to display the mind air with the dress.

In lining “white stripe” It added! Being sharp the uniform of the Hanshin Tigers is made to associate [supotei] design! Exact even in feast instantaneous art.

The style which the tiger fan chooses is naturally real British traditional ([buritora]). In the blazer, [torakichinetsuto] original [metarubotan] (you can choose from 2 types of normal button and metal button.)Has been attached.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

When Jesters Collide

I had an interesting run in the other day. At a coffee shop, had the following conversation with the barrista. It was very spontaneous, very deadpan, and had the few other patrons looking at us like we were crazy. They are correct.

Me: One chocolate croissant, please.
B: That'll be twelve thousand dollars.
Me: I'm a little short.
B: Ok, how does a buck seventy nine sound?
Me: Good. Heck of a discount.
B: We try.
Me: I heard of a guy who bought a hat for
two million dollars. It came with a free
B. Nice hat.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Wonder Curmudgeon Powers - Activate!

Atlanta's free weekly, Creative Loafing, home to all that is good and lefty, recently had a headline article called "Armageddon for the Religious Right"

A very good article. So good, in fact, that I wrote a letter to the editor, and damn if they didn't print the sucker.

Now this isn't my first letter to the editor to be published, and I doubt it will be the last, unless of course, THEY come to get me. But I flatter myself.
Although, as my sister said: "They can add this to your FBI file." I suppose so.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Don't let the devil in.

On NPR the other day, I heard one of the founders of the movement towards Christian fundamentalist Home Schooling refer to Tolerance as a FAD. I guess that's just until the Christians take over and it becomes acceptable to persecute and segregate anyone who doesn't accept their narrow version of Christ. These people are so afraid of anything that disagrees with them that they have even brought out a movement and book called "Praise Moves - The Christian ALTERNATIVE to Yoga" the emphasis on alternative is theirs, not mine.
Why does there need to be a Christian alternative to yoga? Because yoga was started by Hindu people, and everyone knows that tolerance of anything that doesn't agree one hundred percent with fundamentalist Christianity is by default SATANISM! (my emphasis) So you just rename all of the poses with Christian references.

But co-opting yoga from Hinduism just isn't enough! Check out this article. It claims that there can be NO SUCH THING as Christian yoga. All contact with Hinduism has made it tainted.
It sounds like this person was pretty groundless and screwed up, and then one day the roulette wheel in her head stopped on Christianity, and she was "saved" but she didn't want to leave behind yoga when she freed herself from Satan, so she found her way to the Christian "alternative" to yoga, but then realized that the two beliefs were totally incompatible. Because if you're not 100 percent for the Christian god, you're 100 percent against the Christian god.

Please, people, the narrower your mind is, the more closed it is. If you want to be a Christian, even a Fundamentalist Christian, more power to you, so long as you don't demand that the entire world change to fit your worldview. That way lies witch hunts and holocausts. It happens every time. Just look at "Rev." Phelps. He started out saying God hates non-Christians, then God hates Gays, and today, he has extended his God's hate to "God Hates America". If you have a very strong stomach, check it out. He now pickets the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq, saying that his god is killing our soldiers because our government tolerates homosexuals. Sure, he's a psychopath, but many fundamentalists are just a small step from being like him.

Please, let other people be the way they want to be. If your vision of god is really as loving as you say, he will not hold you to account for not forcing him on everybody you know. But I'm ranting. I shouldn't try to force tolerance on others, either, now should I? What a trap. You can't win for losing.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Hidden Treasure

Posted by Picasa My wife bought me a copy of the NASA book “Apollo Expeditions to the Moon” at a garage sale, for all of a quarter. Isn’t she great? I remember this book from grade school, and it is in perfect condition. But the interesting thing is the folded piece of paper that I found in the index. Somebody made a drawing of the Von Braun Ferry Rocket from the Disneyland TV show, and turned it in at school with the following, completely (sic) text:
“This is a picher of a rocut shipe i saw on Disune lande. pasungers code go on this rocut shipe.” How precious is that? The kid did a pretty darn good job of depicting the ship, I think. It also includes the teachers corrections of almost every word, a grade of “B” (wow!) and the text “2nd Grade April 1955” Talk about hidden treasure! I will cherish it forever.