Monday, December 29, 2008

Drunky the Snowman

BoingBoing had a posting about an article in Smithsonian Magazine about Snowmen in popular culture


In the past, snowmen were portrayed as quite the drinkers, so I've adapted the classic song to that image. Some parts you can't sing to the original tune, just say them in your best drunken friend voice. Enjoy!

Drunky the Snowman

Was a jolly happy soul

With a corncob pipe and a button nose

Bleary eyes made out of coal.

Drunky the Snowman

Is a fairytale they say

He was made of snow

But the children know

How he came to life one day

There must have been some magic

In that bottle of Gin they found

For when they placed it in his hand

He began to drink it down

Drunky the Snowman

Was alive as he could be

And the children say

He could weave and sway

Just the same as you and me

Drunky the Snowman

Thought the sun was hot that day

So he said let's run

And we'll drink some Rum

Now before I melt away

Down to the liquor store

With a six pack in his hand

Running here and there all around the square

Saying “You’ll never take me alive, coppers!”

He led them down the streets of town

Right to the traffic cop

And he didn’t pause a moment when

He heard him holler stop

Drunky the Snowman

Had to hurry on his way

But he waved goodbye

Saying “I love you guys, I reealy love you guys. I’m not just sayin’ that. You guys are the best. We should get together and do this more often. Don’t tell me when I’ve had enough, I’ll tell you when I’ve had enough. Is it hot in here? I gotta go lay down somewhere. Can I crash on your couch, or your front lawn? I love you guys.”

“And I’ll be back again someday,

probably next weekend!”

Thumpety thump thump

Thumpety thump thump

Look at Drunky go

Thumpety thump thump

Thumpety thump thump

Over the hills of snow

Friday, December 19, 2008

Get Behind the Union!

A friend of mine pointed out that the Republicans are against



And Gay Unions

How true, how true. But by Gay Unions did he mean Gay Marriage, or The International Brotherhood of Queer Electricians Local 603?

Well, as a last F you to the American people, the Republicans stopped a bailout bill for the automobile industry, not because it was particularly badly designed, or because the auto executives didn't spell out exactly how they would improve the industry, but because it didn't do enough to kill off the Unions. They think the only way to increase profitability for shareholders is to roll back all of the gains made by the Unions, who were actually responsible for creating the "middle class", making it possible for many people to actually buy their product. But that's not the way many Republicans see it. They see every penny that Union members are paid as a penny that's not in their pockets. And every penny that is not in their pockets burns them like a thousand fires. How dare the little people demand safe working conditions and decent wages! They should be grateful to have work at all, and take what we give them. Oh, for the golden age of the robber barons, when the benighted class could do whatever they wanted, no questions asked. For them "middle class" is just a euphemism for "uppity poor". But just as we rushed to war, we're rushing to rescue the auto industry, but only in the way that will damn the "unintended" consequences of killing off the Unions. Just watch.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

What is thy bidding, my Master?

At left is one of Annie Liebowitz's portraits of the big Q herself, or as I like to call her,

Darth Ellie.

(Click the photo to biggify, for full effect)

When that woman tells you to do something, you do it. She even has the power to (mostly) control Corgis. Now that's sheer, raw power. And I get the feeling that she was annoyed with being photographed, and that caused the weather behind her to change from a bright blue sunny sky with the telletubbies sun in it to the brooding impending doomscape you see. Sure is dramatic. I think she has control over the weather, like Prospero in The Tempest. I wouldn't cross her.

The article I lifted the photo from gives one of Annie's tips for getting good portraits. Tell the subject you're done, and then keep shooting. They will relax a bit before they know what's going on. Then the Queen used The Force to hurl the photographer across the Thames. You don't mess with the Queen.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Separation of Church and Bear?

Stephen Colbert tells us that "Bears are Godless Killing Machines!", but I think that this proves that wrong.

Although, who knows what God, god, Gods or gods Smokey is praying to?

This question is too deep, even for me.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Oh no, not again.

Ok, let me get this straight:

28 billion dollars of taxpayer money
is being "loaned" to the big 3
So they can continue to make
That no one wants
or if they do want them
they can't afford them
or get loans for them
even if they have near perfect credit
the loan companies
aren't giving out loans,
expecting people to be able to
pay cash to
buy the cars the big 3 are making
with the money they don't have
and the government has the gall to
give in to the ransom
the car company executives
are holding the country for.

And people still don't believe that we live in a plutocracy.
I give up.