Monday, December 29, 2008

Drunky the Snowman

BoingBoing had a posting about an article in Smithsonian Magazine about Snowmen in popular culture


In the past, snowmen were portrayed as quite the drinkers, so I've adapted the classic song to that image. Some parts you can't sing to the original tune, just say them in your best drunken friend voice. Enjoy!

Drunky the Snowman

Was a jolly happy soul

With a corncob pipe and a button nose

Bleary eyes made out of coal.

Drunky the Snowman

Is a fairytale they say

He was made of snow

But the children know

How he came to life one day

There must have been some magic

In that bottle of Gin they found

For when they placed it in his hand

He began to drink it down

Drunky the Snowman

Was alive as he could be

And the children say

He could weave and sway

Just the same as you and me

Drunky the Snowman

Thought the sun was hot that day

So he said let's run

And we'll drink some Rum

Now before I melt away

Down to the liquor store

With a six pack in his hand

Running here and there all around the square

Saying “You’ll never take me alive, coppers!”

He led them down the streets of town

Right to the traffic cop

And he didn’t pause a moment when

He heard him holler stop

Drunky the Snowman

Had to hurry on his way

But he waved goodbye

Saying “I love you guys, I reealy love you guys. I’m not just sayin’ that. You guys are the best. We should get together and do this more often. Don’t tell me when I’ve had enough, I’ll tell you when I’ve had enough. Is it hot in here? I gotta go lay down somewhere. Can I crash on your couch, or your front lawn? I love you guys.”

“And I’ll be back again someday,

probably next weekend!”

Thumpety thump thump

Thumpety thump thump

Look at Drunky go

Thumpety thump thump

Thumpety thump thump

Over the hills of snow

Friday, December 19, 2008

Get Behind the Union!

A friend of mine pointed out that the Republicans are against



And Gay Unions

How true, how true. But by Gay Unions did he mean Gay Marriage, or The International Brotherhood of Queer Electricians Local 603?

Well, as a last F you to the American people, the Republicans stopped a bailout bill for the automobile industry, not because it was particularly badly designed, or because the auto executives didn't spell out exactly how they would improve the industry, but because it didn't do enough to kill off the Unions. They think the only way to increase profitability for shareholders is to roll back all of the gains made by the Unions, who were actually responsible for creating the "middle class", making it possible for many people to actually buy their product. But that's not the way many Republicans see it. They see every penny that Union members are paid as a penny that's not in their pockets. And every penny that is not in their pockets burns them like a thousand fires. How dare the little people demand safe working conditions and decent wages! They should be grateful to have work at all, and take what we give them. Oh, for the golden age of the robber barons, when the benighted class could do whatever they wanted, no questions asked. For them "middle class" is just a euphemism for "uppity poor". But just as we rushed to war, we're rushing to rescue the auto industry, but only in the way that will damn the "unintended" consequences of killing off the Unions. Just watch.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

What is thy bidding, my Master?

At left is one of Annie Liebowitz's portraits of the big Q herself, or as I like to call her,

Darth Ellie.

(Click the photo to biggify, for full effect)

When that woman tells you to do something, you do it. She even has the power to (mostly) control Corgis. Now that's sheer, raw power. And I get the feeling that she was annoyed with being photographed, and that caused the weather behind her to change from a bright blue sunny sky with the telletubbies sun in it to the brooding impending doomscape you see. Sure is dramatic. I think she has control over the weather, like Prospero in The Tempest. I wouldn't cross her.

The article I lifted the photo from gives one of Annie's tips for getting good portraits. Tell the subject you're done, and then keep shooting. They will relax a bit before they know what's going on. Then the Queen used The Force to hurl the photographer across the Thames. You don't mess with the Queen.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Separation of Church and Bear?

Stephen Colbert tells us that "Bears are Godless Killing Machines!", but I think that this proves that wrong.

Although, who knows what God, god, Gods or gods Smokey is praying to?

This question is too deep, even for me.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Oh no, not again.

Ok, let me get this straight:

28 billion dollars of taxpayer money
is being "loaned" to the big 3
So they can continue to make
That no one wants
or if they do want them
they can't afford them
or get loans for them
even if they have near perfect credit
the loan companies
aren't giving out loans,
expecting people to be able to
pay cash to
buy the cars the big 3 are making
with the money they don't have
and the government has the gall to
give in to the ransom
the car company executives
are holding the country for.

And people still don't believe that we live in a plutocracy.
I give up.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Economics Lesson

I"m overjoyed that Barack Obama will be our next President, but I know that he has an uphill battle to fight. Quite possibly, the steepest uphill battle ever, because he's not just fighting to recover the economy, he's fighting those who want the economy fixed, but only for themselves. You know, my perennial bugaboo, the Rich.

I don't believe, in fact that we actually live in a democracy at this point. We live in a democratic plutocracy. Government of the country by the Rich, for the benefit of the Rich. There's not even anyone left who seriously believes that anything will ever "trickle down" to the rest of us, is there? And anyway, for all of the disdainful talk of "spreading the wealth around", wasn't that what Trickle Down Economics was supposed to do in the first place? Wouldn't that make Saint Ronald Reagan the biggest Socialist President in the history of the United States?

When I watch the news, and I see the pundits obsessing over the Dow Industrials Average and the Standard and Poors average, all I see is the Rich obsessing over whether they are making obscene amounts of money quickly, when the markets are "up" or making slightly less obscene amounts of money slowly, when the markets are "down". These people have more money than they could ever spend on themselves and their families in their entire lifetimes, indulging their every whim and crying about how much they have "lost" in the markets at the same time. My heart bleeds for the person who now only has 5 or 6 million left in the bank, down from 10 or 12 million. How ever will they survive? And the executives of the auto companies have the gall to come to the government and demand billions of dollars to save their industry, but refuse to promise any changes, until "after" the money is given to them. It sounds fishy to me. But you know me by now, I just can't stop ranting about how the Rich have become so disconnected from reality that they can't understand why we should all have to suffer as much as they feel that they are suffering right now. Never mind that because of their greed, the rest of us were suffering in the first place. So we have to bail them out for their failures, and what do they give us in return? Nothing but their scorn. God, I'm a bitter S.O.B.

But I do have a little bit of hope. When Bill Clinton took office, I didn't see how he could possibly fix the economy, as the Republicans had screwed it up so completely for everyone except for the rich, but he took us from the largest (yet) deficits in history, to the largest budget surplus in recent memory. And Barack Obama is inheriting an economy and deficit that makes the situation Bill was left with looking positively sunny. Honestly, W could not have done a worse job and left more disastrous problems for the country unless he was actually actively trying to destroy America. But I have hope that things can only get better. Please let it be so.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

My home town

Here's a picture of part of my home town, River Grove, Illinois, just outside Chicago, just underneath the DesPlaines River. This doesn't happen very often, just when the river gods want a really great 100% all-beef Vienna brand Chicago style hot dog. This is Gene's & Jude's. Yes, that's the name, despite the sign on the left, which is wrong. Really great hot dogs, fresh cut fries, tamales, sodas, and unless things have drastically changed, nothing else. People line up, in long lines, in hot, humid, sticky weather to have these dogs, and they're worth it. 100% worth it. Don't believe me, just ask the river gods.

Right down the road is an unlikely Tiki Bar, Hala Kahiki, I don't know if they were under water, but if you're going to make the trip (and you should) to Gene's and Jude's, you might as well go down the road and have one of those fruity drinks strong enough to knock the back of yer head off, while you're at it.

I haven't been back there in years, having moved to the deep south, well past the ghost of Comiskey Park, but I'm going back soon, and if the water's down by then, I'm going. See you there.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Does proximity equal experience?

So the republicans have decided that since Sarah Palin lives near Russia, that equals foreign policy experience in Russia. Huh? She's been to Canada, once. By that measure, I have more foreign policy experience than her, as I've been to Canada, TWICE, and I've seen Mexico from the border, in Texas. I decided to do a completely non-scientific, nonsensical analysis of each candidate, judging their foreign policy experience by their proximity to some cities around the world. I hope you find my findings amusing. I know that I do.

I know it looks crummy. This was the only way I could figure out to put a table into the blog. Just click to biggify. You won't be disappointed.

And just how did I get my distances? I used this keen map tool:
Just input your own locations, and see how qualified you are to be VP!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Less than Zero

I'm listening to Elvis Costello, and in the song "Less Than Zero" there's a line "Mr. Oswald with the Swastika Tattoo.", which brought to mind something that happened a few years back, at DragonCon, a big SciFi convention and geekfest in Atlanta.
I was in a room watching the show "Firefly", which had just come out on DVD, on a big screen TV, with great sound. Between episodes, we would all sit around talking about the episodes, and totally geeking out. Well, the host of the room was also in costume, an "Alliance Official", I think, and at one point he got too warm in the synthetic fibers he was wearing, and took off his costume shirt. On his right forearm was a tattoo of a Nazi eagle, with a swastika in its talons. To say that this changed my opinion of this guy doesn't even scratch the surface. I had to leave. I wish, now, that I had had the balls to ask him about it, but how do you bring something like that up? "Hey, nice tattoo, you Nazi bastard." To quote Jake Blues, "I hate Illinois Nazis", or any Nazis, for that matter. Sure, there's something about the obsessive, compulsive nature of SciFi fandom that attracts the type who latches onto an idea and won't let go, but you have to think that if you're that devoted to a cause that you'd mark yourself with it permanently, you're almost asking to get confronted about it, aren't you? Well, I just walked out. Confronting him wouldn't have done any good, anyway. He's already so far gone that it would be pointless. I almost feel like he was looking for an excuse to show off his tattoo. Maybe it was bait, but I didn't bite. Still somewhat ashamed of that, but at least all my teeth are still in my head.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

On the mental illness that is Torture Porn

This is going to be my longest post yet, and probably ever. It's something that's been bugging me for a while, and I kind of go off on a rant, even for me. Please indulge me, and I'll try to get back to funny, soon.

On the mental illness that is Torture Porn
In my high school, certain VHS videotapes got passed around, secretively. Among these were classics like “Death Race 2000”, mid 70’s porn like Marilyn Chambers’ “Insatiable”, which I’m sure we all read for the articles, and the “Faces of Death” series, whose tagline was “When only Real is Real Enough” (If Insatiable had a tag line, other than “Insatiable”, I can’t remember it. We can argue the effects of mid 70’s porn on late 70’s teenagers another day.). The FoD film series was nothing more than actual film, usually news footage of people being actually killed, (shot, executed, hit by trains or helicopters, torn apart by lions, etc… etc…) or of dead bodies, recently killed. To say it was anything more would be a ridiculous lie. I must say that the “entertainment value” of the entire concept of the second genre is beyond my grasp.

My small crowd referred to the kids who actively sought out, and enjoyed the FoD series as “The Gacy’s” after serial killer John Wayne Gacy. The Gacy’s would excitedly talk about the grossest, vilest, and most disturbing scenes from these films in detail only slightly less excruciating than what I assume actually watching the films would feel like. I can hardly forget the glee with which they used to describe a film of someone (a U.S. senator, if I recall) killing himself with a pistol in his mouth. The Gacy’s would get giggly and excited as they described the scene, seemingly a little “too excited”, if you catch my drift. As a rule, I avoided these people, and even the people they associated with for good measure.

Call me elitist, if you wish, but this is the era when guns were fairly readily available, and these kids seemed disturbed enough to not be trusted in general, and more specifically when they were hopped up on Torture Porn. It wasn’t called that then. If anything, the genre was called “Snuff”, after Snuff Films, which were films, supposedly made by the Hell’s Angels biker gang, where they filmed their members committing actual, premeditated murders. I never, thank goodness, ever heard of any VHS Snuff Films circulating via the underground backpack, but the FoD films seemed to fill that void for the sick people who find that kind of thing appealing. I consider these people to suffer from a mental illness. Sorry, but I do. To “enjoy” this sort of thing seems like a gateway to me. The kind of people who partake in it seem only a small step from hurting or even torturing pets or wild animals for kicks, which is widely recognized as a sign of a sociopathic, or even homicidal personality. (Don’t (please) get me started on the people who engage in dog fighting. All I'll say for now is that there's a very special circle in hell reserved for them.)

Some people, though, didn’t go quite so far, but got into the Slasher genre, mainstream movies like Friday the 13th, or Nightmare on Elm Street. I have personally only seen a couple of these, and that was enough for me. The gore was fakey, and corny, and whenever some teens started making out, you knew that they were going to get killed in a fakey, gory way. It was almost quaint, by today’s standards. Nancy Reagan once said that we need to teach our children that sex equals death. She really did.

If the Faces of Death films and the Slasher films had a baby, it would be today’s ultra-disturbing genre: Torture Porn. Representative examples of this genre are the Saw series, and the Hostel series, and their ilk. I will admit that I have not personally seen any of these films. As a rule, I avoid situations where I would see suffering. My instinct, when I see suffering, would be to help the person, and stop their suffering, not to revel in it, even if the person is depicted as a “bad guy” who “deserves” the pain they are being subjected to. From the accounts of others, and reading about these films, it is apparent that whatever small vestige of plot they have is just window dressing for using the most state of the art special effects to show people trapped by torturers, who slowly, extremely realistically torture them until they are near death, and then bring them back to torture again, until they eventually die. And the torturers are not even trying to exact information, they are just engaging in torture because they enjoy it. Then the tables predictably turn, and the torturers become the torturees, and they are slowly, extremely realistically tortured to death by the people they were torturing. Nothing about this sounds attractive or entertaining to me in the remotest way. Even more disturbing is what is happening to the people who are watching these movies. They are being desensitized to the suffering of others, especially victims of torture.

Whatever macabre tortures these movies depict, they kind of make waterboarding seem not quite so bad. Which is certainly convenient for a government trying to justify torture, isn’t it? If one believed in conspiracy theories, one might even suspect that this genre is being encouraged by covert government support of depictions of extreme torture. One might even go so far as to suspect that television shows like “24” where torture is routinely depicted not only to be effective, but be the only thing that is effective, were supported by close associates of the current administration. Oh, in that one you would be right, of course, the creator of “24” is a huge supporter of W, and his policy, overt or covert, that torture works.

I heard a commentator, on NPR, I suspect, saying that on 24 the terrorists are routinely tortured until they give up the location of the bomb in the “ticking time bomb” scenario that is used to justify torture, and that he would like to see a more realistic depiction, where the terrorist confesses to Jack Bauer that the atomic bomb that is about to go off is at a location on the east side of the city, and when he gets there, the bomb goes off on the west side of the city. To put it simply, torture never works, never, ever, especially with fanatics like the ones we are dealing with. They want to die, they want to succeed in their plan, and the last thing they would ever do is to give away the plan, before they die. Confessing, even under extreme torture, would defeat their purpose, wouldn’t it?

The softening of attitudes toward torture put forth by the Torture Porn genre can only serve to encourage a disconnect between people and their own humanity. And once you’ve lost your humanity, it's very, very hard to get it back. And sadly, more and more of these sick, deeply sick films are produced every year. There seems to be no end to the Saw franchise. Maybe I just don’t get it, but then again, maybe I just don’t want to. And I sincerely hope that I never do.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

How far we have come

In 2008, children are sent home from school for having a keychain in the shape of a gun. Some are expelled for a day.

In 2008, a man is not allowed to board an airplane, because he is wearing a t-shirt with a picture of a Transformer robot on it. The reason is that the robot in the picture is holding a large gun.

In 1966, the Mattel company sells Mattel Agent Zero M Sonic Blaster 5530. It is given a "not acceptable" rating by Consumer Reports because it uses compressed air to fire a blast of air and sound at 157 decibels. The product is not removed from the market. Man, I wish I had one of them.

UPDATE: Please don't combine the 5530 with this:

Thursday, July 31, 2008

One more political post

I've been away too long. Not that anyone's counting. But I just thought I needed to put my two cents in on KKKarl Rove's refusal to testify on ANYTHING, based on executive privilege . Does anyone else find it ludicrous in the extreme that he is claiming a power granted solely to the President of the United States? Or perhaps it is more sinister than I can imagine. Perhaps he thinks that he IS president. The Dick Cheney certainly does, but in his case, it is actually true. Oh, please let us survive to the end of W's term without him "accidentally" blowing up the world.

"Gee, Mr. President Cheney, what's this button do?"

Would not be a fitting epitaph for our planet.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Book report on a book I will never read.

Disclaimer. I have not, nor will I ever read Pat Buchanan's latest book: “Churchill, Hitler and ‘The Unnecessary War’: How Britain Lost Its Empire and the West Lost the World,”. I find the man irritating in the extreme, a humorless right wing pundit who seems to actually believe the things he says, despite the fact that the assertions he makes are extremely easy to refute. I heard him on the radio talking about his latest rewriting of history, and I've read several articles and reviews of the book which confirm what his central assertion is:

Winston Churchill was responsible for World War Two, because he pledged to Poland that if they were invaded, Britain would come to their aid. If he had not promised this, Hitler would have stopped after invading Poland, because all little Adolph wanted was to bring the city of Gdansk back to Germany.

Yes, in his view Hitler wasn't an aggressive madman with other agendas like the annihilation of the Jews, Gypsies, Catholics, Homosexuals and Artists. He was just a proud German leader who wanted his Gdansk back. The term delusional scarcely begins to cover this man. Then again, he still thinks Nixon was one of America's greatest presidents. Although he did work for the guy, you really should be able to tell when the tide of history is against you, and maybe get on board with reality. But then again, if someone like him has no problem performing the mental gymnastics required to think that all Hitler really wanted was one city in Poland, it's not a far stretch to think that most anything makes sense.

There are several great sites devoted to reading books, "So you don't have to.", but I've taken it one step further, and not read this book, and now maybe you won't have to either. Please don't put one more penny into this idiot's pockets.

Monday, June 02, 2008

A risky move by Netflix

When I checked in with my Netflix home page today, they had apparently closely monitored my movie choices and stuck their necks way out to recommend a movie to me.

Citizen Kane

And they assure me that "Critics liked" it. Well, on that ringing endorsement, I guess I'll have to see it.

Seriously, "Critics liked" Citizen Kane? I guess that falls into the Water is Wet, Ice is Cold, and Don't set your Ass on Fire category of recommendations.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The ugly, ugly truth.

I just realized something very troubling, and shocking. In no painting of George Washington, in no photograph of Abraham Lincoln, in no image of Teddy Roosevelt, or for that matter, most of our founding fathers and/or mothers, are any of them wearing a flag pin. And since it has been declared that if you do not wear a flag pin, you hate America, then by the infallible logic of the conservative movement, all of these people were unpatriotic, traitorous, America haters. I'm sure that at the Republican convention this year, we are sure to see someone far more patriotic than any of us could ever dream to be, wearing a coat completely covered on every available surface with flag pins. Remember that the only way to judge someones patriotism is by the number of flags that they surround themselves with, and the size of those flags. Never mind that if you look closely at a lot of these flags, there's a little sign that says: "Made in China".

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Are you obscenely wealthy? Are you really?

Are you wealthy? Really wealthy? Obscenely wealthy? Do you really think so? Oh, you are so, so wrong. Your wealth is not nearly as high, nor nearly as obscene as you think. Sure, you live in a five bedroom McMansion, most of the rooms of which you never see. Sure, you only buy your food from boutique supermarkets where you refuse to pay at least three times more for anything that you would, if you ever shopped down there with the peasants. Sure, you don't even flinch as you have your servants fill up your 8mpg Hummer, which is powerful enough to climb Mount Everest, even though it has never seen so much as a gravel driveway. But you're not really wealthy unless you are one of the lucky, lucky few (the actual number is a secret), who were able to purchase the fine "timepiece" pictured here, the "Day & Night", by Romain Jerome. (It sold out almost instantly.) Not only would you have been lucky enough to spend 300,000 Dollars, yes Three Hundred Thousand Dollars on this watch, but you could revel in its unique splendor. It is made with steel salvaged from the site of the Titanic. A special lubricant was developed to keep it running with perfect accuracy forever. The rumors that the lubricant is made from the mixed tears of orphans from New Orleans and the Indonesian Tsunami and the prisoners at Guantanamo bay have been vehemently denied by the manufacturer, but I'm pretty sure he gave me a wink as he denied it. Also, the machinery of the watch is buffered by a special dampening cushion that is rumored to be made from the blood of newborn baby harp seals. Again, this has been denied. (wink) This transcendent artwork will allow you to walk amongst your fellow billionaires, secure in the knowledge that you are at least a little, very important bit more obscene in your consumption than they are. But there is one thing that the Day & Night will not allow you to do, and that is TELL THE TIME. The gears and levers are remarkably accurate, but any watch can tell you the time, can't it? It's hardly pointless consumption if it has any actual use, is it? This work of art can tell you only one thing, is it night or is it day? If the gears behind the sun are moving, it is day, if the gears behind the moon are moving, it is night. In truth, the watch can tell you one more thing. If you own it, it can tell you, every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year, it can tell you that you have no actual worth as a human being.

Monday, April 14, 2008

I won't even try to explain this.

But here it is, for your confusion, and mine.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Bruce Lee! Bubblegum!

Bruce Lee (on right) chewing bubblegum. He came to town to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And from the looks of it, he won't be running out of bubblegum any time soon.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

We need an image makeover.

Yesterday, George W. Bush, the most powerful person on the planet, danced around like an idiot for the press, while waiting for the man his corporate masters have selected to succeed him, George W. McCain. (I mean John McCain, sorry) I'm not exagerating. He danced around like an idiot. The. Leader. Of. The. Free. World. Danced. Around. Like. An. Idiot.

Eventually George III (sorry again, John McCain) showed up and the "President" said he would do whatever he could to get McCain elected, whether that meant supporting him or not supporting him. I guess somebody has keyed W into the fact that his endorsement may actually do more harm than good.

My endorsement, on the other hand, will do neither harm nor good for anyone. I'm what they call a Yellow Dog Democrat. Although I hope Barack Obama is our candidate, I will strongly support whoever the Democratic Party candidate is. Whoever they are, when they win, I don't envy them the horrible situations they will be inheriting. Then again, I thought that Bill Clinton would never have been able to turn around the ruined economy that he inherited, but he did. As soon as the Republicans were in power again, though, they immediately pissed away all the economic gains and strength that he had built up. People have told me that the President doesn't really have that much power over the economy in the long run, but I disagree. When the Titanic hit an iceberg, do you know who I blamed? THE CAPTAIN. So we're confronted by an economy ruined by tax cuts only for the rich, and what is W's solution? MORE PERMANENT tax cuts only for the rich. (because it worked so well the first time) I guess that the theory is, if a little medicine will cure you, a lot of medicine will cure you even more. We all know that this is wrong, but the republicans have convinced so much of the population that any dissent is treason, that the suckers will go along with anything they tell them to do.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The page the creationists don't not want you to not read.

One of the funniest/most tragic sites on the entire intertubes is Answers in Genesis, which is the headquarters of the Creationists. Creationists are Biblical literalists who are so threatened that their beliefs just might be wrong that they insist that not only is every word in the Bible true, but that is is the only truth, and that their truth supersedes not only all of history, but all of creation. They also believe that the Bible is correct not only philosophically, but scientifically. Turning the normal concept of science - evidence leads to conclusions - upside down, they are convinced that the Bible's truth is the conclusion, and therefore they must find evidence to support it. The evidence MUST be there, because the Bible is TRUE. Well, lots of Creationist "Scientists" have created lots of arguments based on this complete misunderstanding of how science works, and published their results on the Intertubes, or passed them around on the emails. The Answers in Genesis folks actually consider themselves real scientists, and they have actually published a page of the weakest of these arguments, under the title -Don't Use These Arguments! (click to link to the article). It's actually quite responsible of them to post these "oops" moments, but I can't help but think that if you actually use the scientific method, ALL creationist arguments eventually fall apart, and posting the faulty logic, or just lies of the mistakes will only prove to draw attention to how tenuous any creationist arguments are, in the long run. But I know that I'm preaching to the choir, and that they are, too. No one is ever going to be convinced one way or the other by my arguments, or even by theirs, because on both sides, we're only seeking to have our own beliefs confirmed. But I have one advantage over them. I'm right, and they're wrong. There, that should put an end to it.

Hope you like the picture of a guy being attacked by a ferocious giant panda. Maybe the guy's wearing essence of bamboo. Serves him right. I think if a panda saved all the energy it used in an entire year, and expended it all at once, it MIGHT be able to execute a lunge like the one illustrated, but why on earth would it want to? Maybe the guy threatened a baby panda. I can see an attack being entirely justified, on the panda's behalf. Everybody loves baby pandas. Can you even imagine someone saying: "I hate baby pandas."? I didn't think so.

Monday, February 18, 2008

He could use a kitten.

If you're going to visit the White House, please don't bring any of the following items with you:
"Handbags, book bags, backpacks, purses, food and beverages of any kind, strollers, cameras, video recorders or any type of recording device, tobacco products, personal grooming items (make-up, hair brush or comb, lip or hand lotions, etc.), any pointed objects (pens, knitting needles, etc.), aerosol containers, guns, ammunition, fireworks, electric stun guns, mace, martial arts weapons/devices, or knives of any size."
Please feel free to bring the president a kitten.
Or maybe not.

Thursday, February 14, 2008


I just can't tell you how much I love this illustration.

They take such pride in their work.


Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

I can't resist. I must post this.

Now I totally expect that after W leaves office, the spin historians will start re-writing what actually went on during the 8 disastrous years of his reign, making it look like he was a brilliant leader, and that everyone in America loved him dearly. I hope that they are not successful.

But what about Dick? Not Nixon, Cheney.
Surely everybody won't be fooled by his hand picked historians. Please tell me they won't.

By the way, at the Nixon Presidential Library, the only mention of Watergate is that it was a coup staged by his rivals. I can't honestly believe that even the people who put that exhibit together actually believe that. Then again, Republicans have proven to be amazingly adept at self-delusion.

Mission Accomplished!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Less than a year left.

I can't believe that I've only got a year left to make fun of this guy. Well, I guess that after he's out of office I can still make fun of him. Then again, he really doesn't need me, or anyone to make fun of him. Everything he says and does is so inherently ridiculous, pointing it out is kind of overkill.

To the left is a Swiss bicycle helmet advertisement.
I like the Swiss.