Friday, July 21, 2006

Jesus is returning, and he's got donuts!

I was hoping to post at least a few non political things, but when I saw this in Harper's Magazine, I just had to lift the whole thing. Those who know me know that I have absolutely no tolerance for those who are eager for the end of the world, if for no other reason than they want to see their sick version of God smote anyone or anything that they disagree with, that makes them feel icky. Their attidude seems to be: "Homosexuals, Jews, heck, any non-Christians. Burn 'em all up. They're getting just what they deserve for not agreeing with the way I see the world." Well, the situation in the middle east has these sickos wetting their pants with joy over the upcoming rapture of the faithful, which is just around the corner, as it has been predicted every single year, for the last two thousand years. Check this out:

Silver Linings and a Cross of Gold
Posted on Tuesday, July 18, 2006.

It turns out there's an upside to the current conflict between Israel and Hezbollah—if you're waiting for the second coming of Christ. Here's a selection of excited messages spotted over the last few days on the Rapture Ready/End Times Chat online bulletin board.
By Ken Silverstein.

Praise God! We are chosen to be in these times and also watch and spread the word. Something inside me is exploding to get out, and I don't know what it is. Its kind of like I want to do cartwheels around the neighborhood.
* * *
In another thread, someone brought up the fact that the kidnapping of the first Israeli soldier that started this whole thing was on June 25th and if you count from that day to August is *EXACTLY 40 days!!!!!*
I find that to be a HUGE coincidence.
* * *
A question just popped in my head. Do you think children of around say 7 or 8 (but before the age of accountability) that have been indoctrinated up until that time by their parents religious beliefs will be raptured? . . . For example, would a 7 year old muslim be raptured? I know G-d will do right but I was just wondering everyone's thoughts. I hate to think of kids being left here.
* * *
Got that dancing feeling on the inside of me.
* * *
This is the busiest I've ever seen this website in a few years! I have been having rapture dreams and I can't believe that this is really it! We are on the edge of eternity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* * *
Whoa! I can sure feel the glory bumps after reading this thread!
* * *
I too am soooo excited!! I get goose bumps, literally, when I watch what's going on in the M.E.!! And Watcherboy, you were so right when saying it was quite a day yesterday, in the world news, and I add in local news here in the Boston area!! Tunnel ceiling collapsed on a car and killed a woman of faith, and we had the most terrifying storms I have ever seen here!! But, yes, oh happy day, like in your screen name , it is most indeed a time to be happy and excited, right there with ya!!
* * *

I am excited beyond words that the struggle of this life may be over soon and I can finally be FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
* * *
This is so exciting....I'm having a hard time believing this is 'real'!

This is Silver Linings and a Cross of Gold by
Ken Silverstein,
published Tuesday, July 18, 2006.
It is part of Washington Babylon, which is part of

Words fail me. More so than usual.


brucedene said...

The thread, as I'm sure you know by now, has mysteriously disappeared. Perhaps it was called up. But God forgot to clear his history, so the Google cache is still available. From it, I plucked some other choice tidbits, to wit:

If He tarries, I will just have time to get my hair and nails done (you know let all I come into contact with know of my Bridegroom and what He has/will do). So i am all spiffied up for Him when He does arrive to take me home. No disappointment, just a few last minute details to take care of to be more pleasing to look at.

One good thing, if He takes us during the middle of the night, I doubt there will be morning breath in Heaven.

Fish in a barrel, these people. Is the concern over morning breath in heaven this generation's angels on the head of a pin? Is that *really* what end-timers spend their last days thinking about? Or is it some kind of meta-joke?

raymondburr said...

Awww, I just wanna hug these people!

I wanna tell 'em, "Look, it's OK -- Jesus really does love you. He loves you even if your hair and nails aren't done, and even if you have morning breath. He loves you even if you wet your pants during the rapture, or even before. Remember, they have a free, eternal supply of Aqua Net, Lee Press-On Nails, Listerine, and Depends in Heaven!"

raymondburr said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.