Thursday, April 26, 2007

The Perfect Solution

So the president has promised to veto any bill that comes to his desk that includes an "artificial timetable" for withdrawal of troops from Iraq. First off, who knew he knew the word veto? His policy is usually to sign bills that he would have vetoed, and then add a signing statement saying, basically, "This is law except when I say it isn't.". Second, what the hell is an "artificial timetable"? Wouldn't "timetable" cover it? I guess that's just his way of heaping his scorn upon his critics.

But I have the perfect solution. I know that it is hard to believe, even for me, that I'm saying this, but it's time to give the president exactly what he wants. Emphasis on the "exactly". The congress should withdraw the original bill, and replace the timetable for withdrawal with a promise not to withdraw. Ever. Ever. Fund the troops with the proviso that the president has made it clear that we are in this for the long run, the very long run, and that any timetable would be an admission of defeat and failure, and since we can't ever admit that, we must commit the fully funded troops to remain in Iraq forever. After all, the insurgents are already multiplying faster than we can find or kill them, so on a purely mathematical basis we are pretty much committed to stay there forever anyway.

Friday, April 13, 2007

How big is a billion?

Okay, for argument's sake, let's say you have a billion dollars. Billion with a B. For you Britishers, who have different names for big, big numbers, that's 1,000,000,000 dollars. Hey, the four hundred richest people in America each have at least a billion dollars each, so why shouldn't you.

Now let's say that you decided to give it away. Again, just for argument's sake. You decide to give it away, one dollar at a time. You will give away one dollar, every second of the day, twenty four hours a day, 365 days a year. Why not? How long will it take you to give the billion dollars away? See the bottom of this post for the surprising answer.

Answer: Thirty one years, eight months, eight days, one hour, forty two minutes, twenty four seconds.

I used Google to figure this out. I asked "How many seconds are in x years, and then kept honing it down from there. I have no life. It was actually pretty easy. Google rocks.

You're going to be one busy, tired ex-billionaire by the time you're through.

Monday, April 02, 2007

New postage stamp. This is real.

But I thought that it was against Post Office policy to issue stamps picturing the current President.
"Destroy my Death Star once, shame on you,
Destroy my Death Star twice, shame on, shame on....
Don't get fooled again."