Friday, January 15, 2010

Paging Dr. Schadenfreude

I probably should have used this image in yesterday's post. It's a fake ad that was actually used on the website of a company that just got busted for actually selling OxyContin through the internet.

A few years back, Rush "inexplicably" went totally deaf, at least for a while. That we should all be so lucky when even accidentally having to listen to him.

For years, his blowhardness would disdainfully refer to Jerry Garcia, Janis Joplin, Jimmy Hendrix, etc, as "Just another dead druggie." Then, the inexplicable became completely plicable (is that a word?) when it was revealed that Rush had become Just Another Deaf Druggie, and was a huge OxyContin addict, due to blah blah blah excuse excuse excuse. He Took Enough OxyContin That It Made Him Deaf! Sadly for us, when he went to rehab, his hearing returned, and now we have to deal with even higher levels of ignorance, arrogance and hypocrisy than ever.

Yes, I know that this is old news, but I found that picture, and it reminded me of things I wanted to say at the time. So sue me.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Conservatives are children, trying to recreate a fictional past.

There was an amazing segment on The Daily Show the other night. I can't seem to get the video to imbed in this post but please go


to see it. It very persuasively argues a point that I've been trying to put my finger on for a long time. When you watch or listen to them, remember one crucial thing:

Conservative Pundits are Children

Sure, they're OLD, at least physically, but if you really look at the way they act, and what they say, from Pat Buchanan to Rush Limbaugh to Sean Hannity to G. Gordon Liddy to Sarah Palin, to ESPECIALLY Glen Beck, they are just selfish, petulant, angry, spoiled, bullying children. They want everything to be the way they want it, right now, and if they don't get it, they will get angry and yell and stamp and cry and scream and bully and hold their breath until the country turns blue, or red. Red, I guess.

I think this partly goes back to the Reagan era, where it was proposed that all of society's ills could be traced back to the breakdown of the family that started when women thought that they should have the right to leave the home and get jobs. This was, of course, in complete opposition to the natural order of the universe, and the perfect ideal to which all society should strive towards, as presented in what they thought was a documentary about the perfect society: "Leave It To Beaver". Ever since women started wanting to be treated like actual people, society has gone straight to hell. And the only way to change it is to demand that we turn all the clocks back to whatever delusion they think that their ideal past was. Fictional or otherwise.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Star Wars - The Short Version

Here's my version of the short version of Star Wars. Please forgive me.

The movie is as you know it, until this point.


Princess Leia is led down a low-ceilinged hallway by a squad
of armored stormtroopers. Her hands are bound and she is
brutally shoved when she is unable to keep up with the briskly
marching troops. They stop in a smoky hallway as Darth Vader
emerges from the shadows. The sinister Dark Lord stares hard
at the frail young senator, but she doesn't move.

LEIA: Darth Vader, only you could be so bold. The
Imperial Senate will not sit still for this, when they hear you've attacked
a diplomatic...

VADER: Don't act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren't on any
mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies.
I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you.

LEIA: I don't know what you're talking about. I'm a member of the
Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan...

VADER: You are a part of the Rebel Alliance...and.... wait a minute.... you seem familiar, very familiar. I'm going to use my awesome dark side of the force powers to reach into your mind and.... holy crap, you're my DAUGHTER! Your midichlorian count is off the scale, sweetie! You should join me and we will rule the galaxy as father and daughter!

LEIA: There's no way I will ever join you!

VADER: Are you sure of that?

LEIA: More sure than I've ever been of anything!

VADER: Are you really sure? I mean really really sure?

LEIA: Certain. Don't ask me again.

VADER: Oh, well. (He chokes Leia to death with his awesomely awesome dark side powers and tosses her body against the bulkhead.) That never gets old.

VADER: Lackey! Come here! Have the command crew set course for the Death Star immediately! When I used my truly awesomely majorly awesome dark side powers on Leia over there, I was able to see that that dick, Kenobi hid both my children's existence from me. If I know that jerk who chopped off my legs and my arm, and I do, he's hidden himself and my son on my old stomping ground, Tattooine. He probably hasn't even given the kid a different last name. We shall test the Death Star's planet destruct-o-beam on Tattooine. This will serve to rid me of Kenobi, the teen-age son I don't want to think about, and probably a smuggler and wookie or two while we're at it. I just don't want anything that reminds me of Padme to exist any more.... (sobs quietly through mask).



Roll credits.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

"We did not have a terrorist attack on our country during President Bush's term"

OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! The levels of complete and utter self delusion among the right wing idiots never ceases to amaze me. Hey, Dana, if what you were saying were true, it would render Rudy Giuliani effectively mute. Think about it. The biggest blind spot among conservatives is that 9-11 happened on THEIR WATCH! They blew it, and 3000 people died! Then 8 months later, the shoe bomber happened. They blew it again! And he was tried in civil, not military court, so now, the hypocrites are saying that the underpants bomber needs to be treated as an enemy combatant and tried in a military court. And right away, the President admitted that on the underpants bomber, we "screwed up" and he's making sure that we do our best to untangle the rat's nest of intelligence gathering that was left behind by..... oh, I don't know who could have left such a mess.

Monday, January 04, 2010

Appalling. Truly Appalling.

PLEASE click the image to biggify.

Very interesting graph. Whenever I hear the conservative dupes saying that we have the best health care system on earth, it makes me shudder, especially when you look at a graph like this. So we pay three times more than the world average per person for health care. Is there a reflection on our life expectancy? Not so much. You would think that if we spend so much on health care, our life expectancy would be at least marginally higher than average, not just below average. Then again, maybe I'm mis-interpreting the meaning of "best health care system". Perhaps they mean "best" as in "best at generating wealth for the health care corporations". Yes, that does begin to make sense. If the main aim of the companies is to make profit, we sure do have the rest of the world beat. Appalling.