Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Questions about Twilight. Really.

Although I don't remember that much about it, I think that I actually kind of liked the film Twilight, although I am neither a teen age girl nor a 40 year old girl.

I haven't seen the second Twilight film yet, but since it's out and in the news:

I have several questions about Twilight:

1. Why do the vampires keep going back to high-school? Isn't four years of misery enough for them? From the wall of mortar boards in their home, they just can't seem to get enough of high-school, and presumably, college. If they're looking to maintain a "normal" public face in the community, firstly, WHY, and secondly, wouldn't it be easier to claim they are home schooling?

2. A hundred year old high-school vampire who is attracted to a teenager he won't have sex with, but he will sneak into her bedroom and sit up all night, watching her as she sleeps in her underwear. What's wrong with this picture? OK, how many things are wrong with this picture? And why doesn't it bother the teenage fan's parents?

3. Why don't the townspeople notice that the "Father and Mother" vampire are just a couple years older than the "high-school" age vampires?

4. That's a really nice house. What are the vampire's jobs, that they can afford a house like that? I'd think the "I can come to work any day that it isn't sunny." would limit one's prospects. And why do they have such an elaborate kitchen, and why do they even know how to cook?

5. Sparkly in sunlight? Really?

And honestly, I do want answers to these questions. Please pass this post on to whomever you think can answer them in the comments, seriously or otherwise. Eventually I'm sure I'll have questions about the Werewolves too. When does the Mummy show up?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

On #5, In the tv series Angel, Joss Whedon's character Illyria called vampires "sparkly" in one of her famous speeches....
"Do you know what you were when I was young? You were the muck at our feet. We called you the ooze that eats itself. You were pretty at night. You sparkled, and you stank. You still stink of it!"

Angel - Season 5 Episode 19 "Time Bomb" 2004

I always wondered if Stephenie Meyer's sunlit sparkle motion vampire action in Twilight(2005) was influenced by this.